Saturday 19 November 2011

Born this way...?

It's been a few weeks since I wrote at length. Much has happened, much in my life has changed, is still changing. I hate uncertainty....


Although I have not done much writing, I have been reading, researching, planning.

I've also had a great deal of time to think, not always a good thing...

Writing has always been important to me, it has given a release to emotions that have built up inside. Many have mocked this... What has amused me lately is that "expressive writing" is considered a therapy in it's own right. Spending 20-30 minutes a day, 4-5 days a week writing about your emotions, fears, desires etc can be hood for your health. Punctuation and grammar are not important. Write what is inside you, let it flow. Tell your darkest secrets, biggest fears, get them out in the open.

When you have done this then what you do with what you have written is up to you. Delete it, burn in, share it or save it. The important thing is to get is out of your system. It may take several attempts, several weeks to finally "cleanse", but I know from my own experiences it can work.

As I have mentioned before, much of my writing will not make sense... A mix of poetry, prose and buried memories. Sometimes just one of these, other times a jumble. The style of writing changes with my moods, my emotions. Sometimes I just write to get what is bothering me "out of my system".

I have always had a tendency to bury my head in the sand... The eternal optimist... Things will get better on their own... Sharing my experiences on this blog is changing that. The last few weeks have been very difficult. The loss of my business (my livelihood and independence) shook me to my inner core. On top of that, the stress bubble burst and many things that had been affecting my health came to the fore. 40 days ago I chose to close my business down. For 40 days I have been lost.

My future is still uncertain. What to do, how to do it. Finances etc etc etc. What is clear is that I cannot wait for things to happen.

I hope to me more active on this blog and on my twitter account.

Thank you for sharing my journey.


5 comments:

CherryPie said...

I am sorry to hear that you had to close your business down, but I know you will find a way forward and know what to do next.

Getting thoughts out into the open is always important. You can share them with friends or you can put them to paper. It is the expressing and clearing of the thoughts that are important. The thoughts don't have to be shared with others.

I have been through this process and over time I realised that sharing my thoughts with my friends is therapeutic.

Those that mock are not friends, they are not worth bothering about.

Just my thoughts :-)

Tryingmybest said...

Just over 2 years ago, my life changed more than I had ever believed possible. I was lost, lonely and some days I still am. It's still my life though and I will make as much of it as I can. The way to do it in the beginning is baby steps. Just small steps and just one day at a time.
J x

JanMetalMan said...

Hi J.

Life has a way of doing that to some of us. Yes it's your life now, for you and the little terror :-) Some days those small steps might be backwards but mostly forwards. Never alone though, never forget that. Jan xx

Ark of Hope For Children said...

Jan,
I am sorry you had to c lose your business down. What was the business for? I have a nonprofit ministry for abused kids that is on the brink. I have lost a business in the past as well so I so understand. These times are very hard. If you would like to talk off the radar, contact me (Blair) at hope@arkforkids.org

You are a blessing. As has been said. One foot in front of the other.

Blair Corbett

Anonymous said...

Your strong and I Get you , I can't sit here and Say You'll be fine because at the end of the day Hun You make of your Life what Best Suits You* your what matter Nothing Else really Counts , You might have closed One Business Down But you never Know , It might just Be 1 Out Of Many To come . So never thig the worst , It's Mind over matte Papi

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